I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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