and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Can I color on your dick again?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
