I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
