I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
