My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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