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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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