So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
