hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize