I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
