I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
