it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
