my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The power of my boobs compel you
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
