I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am puke
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
