Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
