But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
