***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
