she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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