It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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