I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize