Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
