"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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