We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
