You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
