ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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