Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
