Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
