You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
