Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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