he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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