Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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