we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
