Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize