do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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