I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
