wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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