Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
