the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
