Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
