This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Randomize
