we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
