did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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