White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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