Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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