FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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