He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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