Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize