I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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