do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
