butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
