I just made out with a guy for $7.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
