I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
