Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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