...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
