Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize