I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
