yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
