They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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