I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
