you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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