I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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