she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think i have two assholes
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
