i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
