U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
