woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize