Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
