i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
