Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
