Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he thought i was a dude.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
