guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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