No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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