watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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