it was like his penis was on wheels.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
