And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
