It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
