I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
