I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
