Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
